Nice brown eye ...
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Wedding of the Year
Introducing the Wedding Party:
First , the handsome groomsman and the fine looking groom (in red shirt)
Red ties, black ties, no tie. Mass confusion. "Alright, everyone ....... let's line up for the picture. Let's see ..... hmmm, where shall we .... oh, yes! Perfect! Everyone, please move quickly! Right over there, in front of the garage. Yes, that will be just smashing!"
Next, the lovely bridesmaids and the blushing bride
Not everyone can pull off such a vibrant red, but I think this group does it. Sassy, I tell you, just sassy.
Last, the Cute Couple
Those Wal-Mart slides really enhance her cankles. Note how their "outdoor backdrop" is a clearing probably behind the All-Sups where the weeds actually got mowed just for this occasion.
At least his head is somewhat proportionate. To her left boob.
What's she showing us here? A severe case of knee gout?? Apparently, whatever it is has her husband in more of a stupor than usual.
"You SO crazy, honey ...."
"Here baby, let me help you up here ......"
He's apparently reaching for something and having trouble locating it. A forklift might help raise any blockage.
I guess this just proves that there is someone for everyone in this world!
First , the handsome groomsman and the fine looking groom (in red shirt)
Red ties, black ties, no tie. Mass confusion. "Alright, everyone ....... let's line up for the picture. Let's see ..... hmmm, where shall we .... oh, yes! Perfect! Everyone, please move quickly! Right over there, in front of the garage. Yes, that will be just smashing!"Next, the lovely bridesmaids and the blushing bride
Not everyone can pull off such a vibrant red, but I think this group does it. Sassy, I tell you, just sassy.Last, the Cute Couple
Those Wal-Mart slides really enhance her cankles. Note how their "outdoor backdrop" is a clearing probably behind the All-Sups where the weeds actually got mowed just for this occasion.
At least his head is somewhat proportionate. To her left boob.
What's she showing us here? A severe case of knee gout?? Apparently, whatever it is has her husband in more of a stupor than usual.
"You SO crazy, honey ...."
"Here baby, let me help you up here ......"
He's apparently reaching for something and having trouble locating it. A forklift might help raise any blockage.I guess this just proves that there is someone for everyone in this world!
DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog , Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
See Men just don't listen !
"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog , Spike. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"
When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,
"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"
See Men just don't listen !
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Thanks for visiting
Thanks for visiting this blog. I am posting funny emails that I have received or receive.
Women Are Evil By Nature...
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both
hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.
She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers.
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both
hands.
"Actually, no," he replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender managed to say.
"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
Two guys from Minnesota
Two guys from Minnesota are sitting in a boat on Mud Lake fishing and sucking down beers when all of a sudden Mike says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over six months."
Harry sips his beer and says, "You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."
Harry sips his beer and says, "You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."
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